Broken Hearts

Some days just suck.  For many people Valentine’s Day is one of those days.  It can be a stark reminder of things that we have lost.  Relationships, family, marriages and so many other things.  For some it is a reminder of what they see as their own failures. “I’m not married yet.” “I wanted to have children by now.”  It also can lead to great disappointment. “Why hasn’t he proposed yet?” “This isn’t the person I want to be with.”

Valentine’s can make us feel unlovable, insecure and lonely.  As with any holiday it can cause us to look around and compare our lives to those around us.  In these superficial comparisons we often come up short.

For those having a good Valentine’s Day.  Cherish it.  Stay in the moment and enjoy every second.  Remember that this day can be a hard time for others.  Try not to judge them, just show compassion to those who are struggling.

For those in the Broken Hearts Club this Valentine’s day. Here are a few tips.

1. Try not to compare your life with others.  You have no idea what their life is like behind the closed doors.  You don’t know about their insecurities, their fears or the quality of their relationships.
2. It is OK to be grumpy, sad, angry and hurt.  Fighting your emotions gives them more power. Let them flow through you.  Eventually they will pass. 
3. Take care of yourself.  Eat well, drink lots of water and try to get some sleep.
4. Acknowledge that you are grieving.  It may be a death of someone close, an idea of how you want your life to be, or the loss of a relationship.  Grief is a normal reaction to any of these things.
5. Celebrate what you do have. Genuine gratitude has an amazing way of changing your perspective.
6. Valentine’s Day is about love.  Start with yourself.    

These may or may not be helpful to you.  Trust yourself and what you need.  You are the expert on you.  Hopefully Valentine’s will be better next year.