Category: Uncategorized

Dear Friend:

I know you don’t know me.  That doesn’t really matter right now.  What matters is that I know that you are out there.  You think that you are alone, that no one can see your suffering.  Maybe that is because you hide it.  Maybe you were taught to be brave and suck it up.  Or maybe you wear your emotions on your sleeve and people have become tired of listening.  Maybe no one knows that this time you are in big trouble and it feels like no one cares.   It is often hard to make people understand.   Sometimes it doesn’t even feel worth the effort.

Perhaps you can’t even trust yourself to know what is real and what is some misfiring of the neurons in your brain.  Maybe you are paralyzed by anxiety and fear.   Perhaps you feel like you are drowning in a pit of darkness and can’t find the way out.    I don’t know your circumstances.   I don’t where you are or where you came from.  I don’t know what is happening for you.   You may be down on your luck, maybe you lost something or someone close to you, or maybe there is no logical reason at all.

What I do know is that you are not alone.  Canadian Mental Health estimates that 20% of people will struggle with their mental health at some point in their lives.  That means that although your situation is unique, there are others suffering too.  That also means that there are others out there that have found their way through the other side of their illness, others that can inspire you if you give them the chance.

For some it has gotten so bad that they wish to end their own life.  I hope that is not what is happening for you.  If you have thought of suicide then that is a warning sign that you need help.  You can’t do this on your own.  I hope that you tell someone.  It may be hard to find the right person or find the courage to start talking.  But I hope that you try.  And I hope that you keep trying until you find someone willing and able to help.

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for what you are going through.  I am sorry that our society doesn’t understand and that makes it harder on you.  People like to pretend that they are strong and that somehow protects them from what you are going through.  What they don’t understand is that mental health has nothing to do with strength.  It has to do with life and living.

We all get wrapped up in our own lives and forget to check in with those we love or make space for people, like you, that are hurting.   Everyone struggles at times.  Sometimes our society forgets that one day it could be them.  It can and will happen to some of them too.  I hope that once your journey takes you to a better place that it will help you be compassionate about other’s hurts.  Change can only begin when we all have the courage to do things differently.

What you are going through does not make you weak or pathetic.  It does not make you less than anyone else.  It makes you human.  We often assume that others have their act together and that their lives are better than ours.  We often assume that they have it all figured out.  As a therapist, I can tell you that people are really good at pretending.  They have problems too.  You just can’t see them.

In the course of my career I have seen many people struggle with mental illness.  I have seen people come back from some devastating places in their mind.  It has filled me with hope.  I have hope for you.

I hope that one small step at a time you too will find your way to a better place.   It won’t get better quickly.  It will take time and determination.  You will need to be patient and understanding with yourself and others.  Some days will suck and others will be tolerable but slowly I hope that you will find peace and eventually joy.  This will come in time, for now I hope that you will continue to have the courage to breathe because that is the first step.

I know that you are out there.  I hope that for now that is enough.

Sincerely,

Krista Osborne MSW, RSW

Individual and Family Therapist

 

If you or someone you know struggles with mental health and you need immediate help contact the Edmonton Distress Line or connect with Canadian Mental Health Association.

This article was first posted in May of 2013 on the United Way Alberta Capital Region Website as part of their 2013 Mental Health Week.

When I first became a pregnant, I worried.  Like most new parents I had the concern. “What if something is wrong with my child?”  For many people Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy among other disabilities are at the forefront of their concern.  We all want our children to live happy, healthy or productive lives and worry that these conditions could put that in jeopardy.  These are real issues and real worries for parents but I have found that mostly the fear comes from a lack of understanding.  In my work I have had the pleasure of working with people with many types of disabilities.  I found that children and families can thrive with many challenges given the chance and a little acceptance.  After all, no child is perfect and everyone has things in life to overcome.

While I know these words to be true, if I am being honest there was one thing as a mom-to-be that scared the heck out of me.  I was petrified of having a child with autism.  The idea of having a child that I couldn’t relate to or that I couldn’t communicate with scared me silly.  The whole reason I wanted to be a parent was to connect and mentor a life with all the joy that it brings.  It was all about me and what I wanted as a parent.

I remember when my children hit their 2nd birthdays and were talking, socializing and behaving more or less “normally.”  Working in Mental Health I knew that most severely autistic children show signs of social and emotional delays pretty early.  So I felt like my family was in the clear. It was a huge relief but also one that I felt ashamed to admit.

It was about this time that I started working with families in a psychiatric setting.  In my interview I was asked what types of issues did I feel the least comfortable working with.  I said “autism.”   I told them of my discomfort and how I planned to address it.  I think I may have had some lame answer about being open minded and willing to learn.  Really I was freaked out.  How could I help families with children cope with something I didn’t understand?  How could I be any good to someone that was dealing with something that scared the heck out of me.  I got the job and thankfully I learned.

Quickly I was working with families of adolescents with autism.  I realized how my own preconceived ideas about the challenges of these families was very wrong. It is easy for us to think of autism as the child freaking out in the grocery store, or the child in your kid’s class that seems to just start screaming or worse yet punch your kid in the nose.  Autism can be all of those things, or none.

Some children with autism can be stubborn and have extreme temper tantrums when things fall off the rails.  This can create fear and judgement from society as a whole.  Many families I have worked with have had Children’s Services called when a well meaning but uninformed neighbor called to report what they thought was an abusive parent when the parent was actually trying to calm their child down.  This is an extreme side of autism.  More often than not these families find a way to manage and understand each other’s needs just like the rest of us.

On the other hand our society sometimes glorifies autism thereby dismissing the real struggles of the individuals and families that deal with the disorder.  The Sheldon Cooper, or Rain Man references come to mind.  Autism can be these things as well but often these are just our society’s way of dumbing down a real issue.  I have heard many people and celebrities talk about Asperger’s (a high functioning form of autism) as a desirable trait so much so that many try to self-diagnose their quirkiness as “Aspy”.  This isn’t a helpful view of autism either.

I believe that education is a helpful tool in acceptance and understanding.  So here is my meager attempt to describe what I have learned about autism.  Keep in mind that there are many experts out there on this issue and I am not one of them.  Here is what I have learned.

1. Autism has a vast spectrum of symptoms.  It also varies widely on its functional impact on a person’s daily life.  It can range from someone who is just “quirky” to someone that never speaks and has difficulty with daily functioning.  Some of the characteristics of autism include communication issues.  This can range from an inability to communicate verbally to a more socially awkward disconnect.
2. Difficulties reading social cues.  One of the more difficult symptoms to pinpoint is the difficulty with social interaction.  Some people with autism struggle reading social cues or understanding the subtlety of social interactions.  This can take the form of mild or odd interactions with people or in its extreme form a social isolation.  It is not that autistic people don’t desire social interaction, just that it can be difficult for them to understand.  They often struggle with sarcasm, reading facial expressions and boundaries.  This can lead to misunderstandings and uncomfortable interactions.
3. Repetitive movements. Many people with autism also have repetitive movements.  This is usually more pronounced in early childhood.  The extreme forms of these movements such as rocking, head banging or hair pulling often get noticed by outsiders.  This could be a way to communicate frustration or a way of self-soothing when overwhelmed.  Less extreme examples are more difficult to pinpoint such as mild rocking or twitching.
4. Developmental or emotional delays.  There are sometimes developmental delays or gaps in learning but not always.  One classic symptom of autism is a rigidity of thought and an obsessive nature.  This is where you can see some people with autism as quite brilliant in a particular area of life.  Some think very deeply about things and have extraordinary ways of seeing the world around them.  The effect is that some autistic minds are quite exceptional at one thing or another.  So some high functioning people with autism are often really talented or smart about science, math or other things that involve complex patterns.  This is often the more glorified symptom of autism.  It can be a fascinating and highly valued asset unless the obsession is with Pokemon or My Little Pony instead of science or math. The down side of the obsessional thinking is sometimes this leads to a delay in other areas of their life which can stunt their emotional and development maturity. 
5. Sensory sensitivity.  Autism also often comes with a sensory sensitivity.  The theory is that people with autism have brains that process information fundamentally differently.  Instead of filtering out useless information they process all the data coming in through their senses.  This means they can be extra reactive to sensory overload. Think of standing in a room full of screaming children for a few hours and you can understand what sensory overload means. New settings, unfamiliar routines and loud environments can be difficult and for some people with autism can lead to extreme emotional reactions. Mostly this is because they feel unsafe.

One client I worked with described his brain like a computer.  He was a Mac and he saw the rest of the world as PCs.  We just fundamentally work on different operating systems.  This is an analogy that often comes to mind when I am working with parents.  A Mac and a PC are capable of communicating with each other.  It can just be a bit glitchy.

I am not afraid of working with people with autism anymore.  A little understanding goes a long way.  People dealing with autism deserve compassion and understanding just like you and me.

Strangely I have found that it is not often the person with autism that has the problem with their autism. As they grow, learn and cope they can be content with their lives just like the rest of us. It is often the rest of us that have the problem with how their brain works.  We try to find ways to fix them or change their behaviours. In my experience, trying to fix anyone is not very productive.  No matter who you are and what your life challenges, change always comes from within.

If you are interested in knowing more check out Temple Grandin’s TED Talk on autism or visit the Autism Society of Alberta‘s website.

Volunteering is part of my DNA.  Growing up, my mother was always active in my school or part of a group of women quilting or knitting for a cause.  My Dad is an active volunteer as well.  Among his roles were Scout Leader, Habitat builder, Food Bank worker, and even once a Santa Claus.   I volunteer because I was taught that it is important.  I believe it makes me a better person and I believe in the hard work of building communities.  

So a year ago I found myself finishing off my time on the Board of my kids’ Preschool and looking for a new opportunity.  Then along came St. Albert Realtor Craig Pilgrim.  He asked me if I would be interested in joining the Board of SAIF (Stop Abuse in Families).  Now volunteering for the Board of such an important organization is way out of my comfort zone.  I am a grunt worker.  When I volunteer it is usually on the front line, like answering a crisis line (Edmonton Distress Centre), or as a counsellor (Walk in Counselling Society of Edmonton), delivering flyers, or coaching my kids.

What I don’t do easily is socialize or fundraise, two things necessary for a good Board member.  I suck at asking people for things. It is a painful and guilt ridden process.  For those of you that know me you will also know that my husband and I have been recently fundraising and socializing a lot more than I can comfortably handle. When Craig asked me to join the Board I was reluctant.

Being a Board member means that first you need to be an advocate for the organization that you serve.  SAIF is an easy organization to get behind.  They serve families struggling with violence.  They provide education to youth about healthy relationships. They inform seniors and the elderly about their rights and provide help when needed. SAIF provides individual and group counselling to people that desperately need a nonjudgmental support in their lives.  

Family violence continues to be a community secret yet it is a dangerously shameful reality for our friends, neighbors and even our families.  SAIF is an organization that seeks to dissolve the shame, empower victims and provide help to the perpetrators.  If ever there was an organization I would want to be a part of on a structural level this is it.  

So I answered the call.  Last September I joined the board.  Even though I feel totally out of my element, I felt like it would be good for me and that I had something to offer them. I don’t have wealthy friends to hit up for loads of money, I am a Social Worker after all!  I don’t have a lot of connections in the business world to provide much valued sponsorship to events and fundraisers.  So there have been many meetings where I feel like I am out of my league.

I joined the committee for the Red Shoe Gala, a fundraiser coming up on April 12th (tix still on sale).  The best moment for me was when I asked a local painter Samantha Williams- Chapelsky to do a painting for the Gala and she agreed.  I was so wimpy about it I asked her via Facebook with a “you don’t have to if you don’t want to” kind of comment.  I’m sure it was one of the most self-conscious, unprofessional asks she has ever gotten.  Good thing she seems to like me, so she agreed.

Recently the Board of SAIF decided to do a “100 Cups of Coffee” Challenge.  The idea is that the Board members will go out in the community and serve as Ambassadors of the agency by having at least 100 meaningful conversations about SAIF and what it does.  We are competing with the staff for a larger total.  As you might imagine, this sends panic up my introverted spine.

I don’t have wealthy friends, or lucrative business contacts but what I do have is YOU. So do me a favour, even though I hate asking, “Like” “Share” or “Retweet” this article and it counts as a cup of coffee for our challenge.  Even more important look into the work of SAIF and get involved yourself.  I am better for it and so will you be.

Have you ever had that dream?  You know, the one where you are standing in front of a hundred people and you are unprepared for the lecture that you are about to give?  Usually there is something humiliating happening like your zipper is undone or worse… you are naked.  For me the dream is that I try to talk and my teeth start falling out.  So every time I try to talk I have to pull out a few molars so that people can understand me.  Freud would have a field day with that one.

Have you ever had the dream where there is an emergency happening in your house and you can’t for the life of you dial 911?  Every time you try, the keys get stuck or you start dialing the wrong number and have to stop.

Or have you ever had that dream where the bad guys are hot on your tail and chasing you?  Sometimes they are zombies, Bigfoot, or just run of the mill faceless villains that are clearly going to kill or maim you if they catch you.

These dreams are pretty common in their themes even if they vary in their details.  Often when I have one of these dreams I wake up feeling more tired and more than a little freaked out.  I have one dream where my husband and I have a huge fight.  Often I find myself still very angry with him when I wake up.  Once I made him apologize for his evil dream self.  It just helped me let it go and we had a good laugh.

I am not a believer in dream analysis, at least not in the way Carl Jung theorized.  I think dreams are usually just distorted reflections of what is going on in our waking lives.  A simple example of how the mind and body are connected.  When I have one of these intense dreams it is usually a good indicator of my anxiety level.

Anxiety is an interesting emotion.  It is both physical and emotional.  Our palms sweat, our heart races and we experience a heightened sense of what is happening around us.  It is our body’s way of getting us prepared for what is about to happen.  Emotionally it can be intensely shameful, nervous or overwhelming.  It can also be as simple as a dull ache.

Many of my clients come to me for anxiety.  I have a young adult in my practice that wore her anxiety like a badge of honour.  She used to tell me that she didn’t have to go to school because of her “anxiety” like it was a pet that needed tending.  Sadly many teens I work with find creative ways to avoid their anxiety rather than embrace it.  It can be debilitating without adequate coping.  My client now does public speaking talking to anyone that will listen about mental health and her journey into it.  She still has anxiety but so do the rest of us.

We often see anxiety as a negative emotion that we need to battle against.  I prefer to think of anxiety as a cousin to excitement and anticipation.  Even more than that it helps me to recognize what is important in my life.  If it isn’t important then I won’t be anxious about it.  If it is important then my anxiety tells me to stop procrastinating, get on with it and prepare so that I can enjoy what will hopefully turn into success or at the very least get what ever it is over with.

My best advice about anxiety: face it.  If you avoid what makes you anxious then you may be missing out on something really important.  Anxiety avoided can turn into a monster that will control you rather than the other way around.

So just like in my dreams, anxiety is a gift.  It reminds me to check my zipper to avoid embarrassment, reach out for help when I need it or run away when that is the only option.  Regardless of which action I pick I am the one with the choice.

For those of you out there that have a dog you know what walking outside in the winter can do to you.  It is a battle on the extra cold days.  Do you get up off your lazy butt and walk the dog or do you skip it and have the dog begging for attention and driving you crazy all night?  Some days the choice is easier than others.  Some days our dog doesn’t even want to go out because it is too cold.

Last year while taking my mutt for a walk on a cold day I saw the name “Murphy” in the most beautiful script written in the snow.  This wasn’t just any writing.  It was the kind of perfect cursive writing I remember reading on the chalkboard in my Grade 3 classroom. Mrs. Bailey had the nicest handwriting.

Other than admiring the penmanship, I didn’t really think much about it.  After a skiff of snow I figured it would be all gone.  Over the course of the winter, Murphy’s name kept appearing.  Some days the finger writing was every few blocks. I would sometimes find myself daydreaming about Murphy. I came up with some amusing dramas in my head. One story involved star crossed lovers that were communicating in code.  In this scenario writing Murphy in the snow was a signal that their parents were out for the night.

Some nights my thoughts were more practical. Was Murphy a first name or a last name?Some nights my thoughts about it were more melancholy. Was it some lonely teenager walking the street?  Was the signature a cry for help? Was it a sad senior walking around wondering if anyone was paying attention?  I am sure the stories I came up with had more to do with my mood than any reality out there. Still, I started to print my dog’s name beside Murphy’s just in case.

My husband came home one night after walking the dog and asked “Who is Murphy?” I laughed.  I wasn’t the only one intrigued by the mystery.  I naturally began to assume that whoever Murphy was also took a walk almost daily.  I began including the random strangers I ran into during my walks in on my elaborate story lines. It was fun to think that the guy down the street was really a spy.

When I was lucky enough to go for a walk after a dusting of snow I would casually watch people to see if they were the ones writing in the snow.  One day I caught the culprit at a distance with her finger in the snow. It was clear to me that she was trying to be sneaky. Then again I may have been victim to my own sense of drama at this point.

I ran to catch up and confront her head on. If by “head on” you think I mean I asked her by hollering at her from across the street you’d be right.  She admitted to the deed and I complimented her finger writing ability. We had a brief conversation about what she was doing and why. I told her how much I had enjoyed the mystery of it all. She and her partner laughed and went on their merry way.

I would tell you who Murphy is but truth be told I wish I never found out.  I prefer the mystery. I don’t want to ruin it for you. There is so much life in the mystery of things and we are all connected by the webs of our actions.

Murphy’s signature is out there again this winter.  Last week someone wrote in the snow over Murphy’s name “Who is?” That makes me smile. I hope someone else is on the adventure of finding Murphy. For the rest of us, never underestimate your ability to inspire others, even in the smallest ways.

Thank you Murphy for making the mundane chore of walking my dog an adventure. You brought me joy and that is always a noble endevour.  It is cold out there, I hope you stay warm.

Theme:  Looking Ahead

Saturday Senses: Day 22

Task: Mental Health First Aid Kit

Today I want you to make a Mental Health First Aid Kit.  For some of you literal types you will need to get yourself a shoe box and start filling it up.  For others you can make a handy list in case of a mental health crisis.  The idea is that when you are in crisis you often can’t think of what you need so if you have your mental health first aid kit, you won’t have to rely on remembering what you should be doing.

In your Mental Health First Aid kit include something for each of your five senses.  You can look for hints in the tasks we have already done.  For example, your theme song likely belongs in your first aid kit.

Hearing:  What songs/sounds would you need to calm yourself down?  Can you sit and imagine it or do you need to have it on hand?

Taste: What are your comfort foods?  Some junk food ones are inevitably on the list.  The good thing is these are easily on hand. Try to also include a list of things that you love.  Maybe a recipe for your Grandma’s peanut butter cookies or a particularly good roast.

Smell: What are comforting smells to you?  For me it is Indian food.  The smell just makes me happy.  For some it is lotions or candles.  Whatever it is put it in your kit.

Touch: What feels good? For my kids it is their PJs and their stuffies.  It could be a pet’s fur (please don’t put your pets in the box), or a favorite sweater.  Find something that can help ground you when times are stressful.  In my office I keep Play-Doh and those dollar store squishy balloon animals for clients’ moments of unrest.

Sight: What do you like to look at to calm down?  Can you go there in your imagination or do you need a picture to remind you?  Put it in your First Aid Kit.

Don’t forget to include your positive affirmation from previous weeks and a reminder to take care of your basic needs first.  If all else fails, look here for a pre-made kit.

Silly Sunday: Day 23

Task: People Watch

Here is a variation on our take a walk exercise.  Living in the here and now is a hard task.  Today I want you to people watch.  Find a bench and sit.  I used to do this as a child and make up stories about the people around me and their lives.  There were many spies and secret affairs in my imagination. What is in yours?

Manic Monday: Day 24

Task: Take a Day Off

Most of us are doing too much.  Our minds and bodies don’t have time to slow down and enjoy all that life has to offer.  Today I want you to think about what is important in your life and what is not. Then I want you to figure out how you can simplify at least one thing just for today.  That may mean playing a board game with your kids instead of cleaning the kitchen, it may mean ordering dinner instead of cooking.  Maybe it means just not answering the phone. The answer is up to you.  Just take the day off whatever it is.   Keep it simple though, taking the day off work may or may not be possible.  I don’t want your employers coming after me.

Tension Tuesday: Day 25

Task: Get Creative

I hope you have some crayons, finger paints or Play-Doh hanging around.  If you don’t, a simple pen and paper will do.   We are all creative souls.  Today I want you to create something that represents your mental wellness.  Don’t judge, just do.  It doesn’t have to be anything.  It is just for you.

 

Weird Wednesday: Day 26

Task:  Eat an Apple

This is an exercise in mindfulness.  The idea is to take your time and experience the apple. This should take 3-5 min.  If you don’t have an apple then any piece of fruit or other food will do.  Let’s get started.  Notice the apple.  What does it look like? What does it smell like?  What is its shape?  What does it taste like?  Are you able to focus on the experience or are you distracted?

Take the few minutes to really be present.  Eat it slowly and try to be present and in the experience, that means no reading, texting, or Facebooking while eating your apple.  In a world full of busyness we often don’t take the time to really be present in the moment.   One of the foundations of good mental health is being present for yourself and those around you.

Thoughtful Thursday: Day 27

Task:  Make a Bucket List

Today I want you to sit down and come up with a list of things that you want to do before you die.  These can be wildly outrageous or small and simple.  The idea is to sit quietly with yourself and look forward to the future and decide what is important to you.

Forward Friday: Day 28

Task: Post what you have learned from this experience.

Gratitude starts with thoughtfulness.  Today I want you to write down what you have learned about yourself and about mental health from this experience.  Many of you may not have completed every task. Don’t judge, you did what you needed to do.  Many of you did it all silently watching from the sidelines but engaged in your heart.  Good for you.  Some were here religiously jumping right in.  However you experienced this Boot Camp, take a moment and think about how you made time for you.   If you want to share, I would love to hear your thoughts.  If you want to keep that personal, that is okay too.  Just make sure to give yourself a pat on the back for taking care of you.

Thanks for coming along on this journey. I hope you enjoyed it!

Theme: Pay it Forward

I love the idea of paying forward.  I love it so much that I not only included it one day a week of our Boot Camp but also wanted to focus on it for a whole week.  Kindness is a positive way of getting out of your own head to see things from a different perspective.  For me, I incorporate volunteering as a regular part of my life.  I do this because it is good for my community but also because it is good for me.  For others, these acts of kindness are less scripted and more random.  We have all heard of the kind souls that buy people’s coffee in the drive through.  The point is however you pay it forward  it should feel good and not like a chore.

Saturday Senses: Day 15

Task:  Free Hugs

What is better for your senses than a hug?  I know that some of us aren’t as physically affectionate as others but everyone likes a hug from the right person at the right time.  Today’s Pay it Forward task is to give away some hugs.   You may need to step outside your comfort zone but it will be worth it.  Free Tip:  Ask first or it might not go very well.

Silly Sunday: Day 16

Task: Bubbles

Bubbles are my “go to” mental health trick with most of my clients regardless of age.  People like bubbles.  It teaches you how to breath properly when you are panicking and usually adds an element of silly which often brings a smile.   Today I want you to dig out some bubbles from the kids cabinet or head to the dollar store and pick up some bubbles.  Take 5 minutes to make a room full of bubbles.  Because it is pay it forward week I want you to share your bubbles.  That could mean with your family, colleagues or random strangers at the mall.  I don’t care, just have fun with it.  And don’t forget to tell us what you did.  A pic might help too.

Manic Monday: Day 17

Task:  Take What You Need

A few years ago in a cafe in Victoria I found a sign that said “Take What You Need.”  On it there was pull off tabs that people could rip of and take with them.  I thought it was one of the most brilliant things.  Today I want you to make one of these and post it somewhere.  I had one on my office door for months.  It was amazing what conversations it started.  I found it fascinating what people took.  Some people would show up at my office and ask for a tally on what people seemed to need that day.

Tension Tuesday: Day 18

Task:  Makes Someone Laugh

Laughter is the best stress reliever.  When I have clients in sessions I don’t think I am doing my job if we aren’t laughing at least some of the time.  Today’s task is to make someone laugh.  It is good for your health and for your relationships.  Don’t forget to tell us how it went.

Weird Wednesday: Day 19

Task:  Call a Friend

Today I want you to take some time out of your day and call someone that you haven’t spoken to in far too long.  You know who I mean.  That person that you keep meaning on calling but life gets in the way.  Not the person that is gonna guilt trip you about it but will understand, no matter how long it has been.  You will be glad you did.

Thoughtful Thursday: Day 20

Task: More TED

Today I want you to think about the power of kindness.  So today your task on this thoughtful Thursday is to watch another TED Talk on kindness.

Forward Friday: Day 21

Task:  Random Act of Kindness

Today is a day to get creative.  Most of us have heard Random Act of Kindness.  Today I want you to go out and do some.  They could be big or small.  Just set an intention and do it.  I would love to hear what you came up with.

I sure hope that you have been enjoying camp as much as I have.  Keep up the good work! If you are just joining us now for the first time for Mental Health Boot Camp, we are glad to have you.  Feel free to take a minute to read the Overview and what we were up to on Week 1 to get caught up.

Here is your next week’s worth of tasks.  I will send out reminders daily via Facebook and Twitter for those that need the reminder or for those of you that like the surprise.

Week 2 Theme: Gratitude

There have been many self-help books recently that have focused on the power of gratitude.  “The Book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha, and “A Simple Act of Gratitude” by John Kralik are a couple that come to mind.  Spending time thinking and appreciating what we have in our life is an important way to stay mentally healthy.  Being grateful is very difficult during hard times.  This week we are going to start practicing gratitude.

Saturday Senses: Day 8

Task: Take a Picture

Creativity is an underestimated asset in our lives.  We are all creative, just in different ways.  Often in life we get stuck in a rut and creativity is an excellent way to get out of it.

Today I want you to look at your world from a different angle or point of view.   Get out your camera (or phone) and take a picture.  The theme is gratefulness.  There are no judgments here about skill or content.  Just have fun with it.

Silly Sunday: Day 9

Task: Victory Dance

Never underestimate the power of a good victory dance.  I want you to think about one small (or big) thing that went well today and I want you to do a victory dance.  This could be a long interpretive dance alone in your living room or a shuffle with your spouse at the mall.  Spend the day looking for the perfect moment and go for it.  Don’t forget to share.

Manic Monday: Day 10

Task: Nostalgia

I want you to dig out an old photo album.  In this day and age this may mean heading to Flickr or YouTube.  The point is I want you to get nostalgic.  You may need to put some time aside for this task as often looking a few pictures or videos can lead to looking at many.  While you are looking at old memories, I want you to pay attention, notice how your body feels, think about the smells, sounds and anything else that comes to mind.  Think about who was involved in those memories.  How did you feel about them then and now?

Tension Tuesday: Day 11

Task:  Go for a Walk

Today you are going out in the world.  Nature is one of the best antidepressants out there.  If it is cold, bundle up.  If you really can’t get out there at least find a window with a view.  Take 10-20 min to just be with nature.  No cheating with ipods and cellphones.  The point is to slow down and notice all the sights, sounds and smells around you.  For many of you techno geeks, the idea of being quiet in nature with no distractions might make you twitchy.  Work through it.  We are increasingly so overstimulated with gadgets and stuff it is hard to just be.  We find it boring.  Believe it or not, boring is good for us.  Constant arousal is hard on our mind and our body.  I will forgive a pic of where you walked if you want to share.

Weird Wednesday: Day 12

Task: Personal Affirmation

For those of you old enough to remember to good old days of SNL, you may remember Stuart Smalley.  He used to do positive affirmations in the mirror saying “I’m good enough and I’m smart enough and gosh darn it people like me.”  Well today is a tribute to Stuart.  I want you to come up with a positive affirmation for yourself.  I want you to spend the day thinking about what you really appreciate about yourself and write it down.  Take a Post-it Note and stick in on your mirror, put it as a note in your lunch or make it part of your screen saver.  Now I know that the affirmation itself may be weird to post around the house.  If you would rather use one word or a symbol to remind you of your affirmation. that’s okay too.

Thoughtful Thursday: Day 13

Task: Focus on what went right

Today we will focus on what went right.  When we are in a down we naturally focus on what isn’t working.  A few weeks ago I was emptying a puke bucket for my daughter and cleaning up all sorts of other disgusting fluids.  I missed a night out with my husband and got no sleep.  Once I accepted my fate of laundry, fevers and sleeping with a delusional fitful kid, I reminded myself of what a privilege it is to be her Mom.  I am lucky that I am the one she wants when she feels her worst.

Today I want you to walk through your day and try to focus your attention on what went right.  Some days it may only be a green light, other days there will be plenty to celebrate.  At the end of the day, take inventory.

Forward Friday: Day 14

Task: Send a Thank You Note

Here it is again, Pay-it-Forward Friday.  Today we are going to share our gratitude with others.  Today I want you to send a thank you note to someone.  It needs to be sincere, and thoughtful.  You can send it by email, snail mail, Facebook or hot air balloon.  It could be someone you know or a random stranger.  Set your intention and do it.  Be creative and let us know how it goes.

Two more weeks to go.  I know it can be hard to find the time but you are worth it.

Welcome to the first week of Mental Health Boot Camp. Wondering what this is all about? Read this post to learn more. Now, away we go!

Theme for the Week:  Foundations

Have you ever read Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?  It is a theory in psychology that basically states that before a person can deal with existential issues like, fulfillment, meaning and spirituality, there are foundational things that need to be in place like food, shelter, and safety.  In other words, if you aren’t taking care of the basics of life than you can’t hope to deal with the more complex things. Continue reading “Mental Health Boot Camp: Week 1”

Despite my distaste for New Year’s resolutions I find myself everyday doing squats, planks and push ups.  Honestly it all feels a little silly.  My daughter walked in on my push ups the other day looked at me and said “Really, Mom?”  I think the comment had more to do with my attire than the push up but I felt ridiculous.  Why do I do it then? Well I know there is this other group of people in the Facebook world that are doing it too.  It is motivating.  A community, even of virtual strangers, can be powerful. Continue reading “Mental Health Boot Camp”