Years ago I came to the conclusion that I like to be busy. I am happiest and most effective with my time when I have multiple things on the go. I am not alone in this. Many people in our society are overachievers and workaholics, sometimes to the detriment of their personal lives but not always. I can’t remember a time when I held down just one job. I am usually juggling volunteer work, school, multiple jobs and family. I am not looking to brag or be praised. In fact, sometimes I feel a bit ashamed. Can I really be healthy, happy and available to my family when I have so much going on? I feel like people judge me for it. I do it all because I like to do things this way. It is part of who I am. It is how I am happiest.
This summer I have had some significant down time. This is a good thing and much needed. But down time makes me twitchy. It hasn’t surprised anyone around me that I feel the need to fill that time with some project. This year that project is me. Just over a year ago, I was involved in a car accident that caused some significant whiplash. Since then I have been feeling my age. My body has decided that it isn’t 20 anymore. I have been feeling lethargic, overwhelmed and weak. So after months of being busy with other people’s emotions and personal issues, I thought I should carve out some time this summer for me.
I have started running again. I have always considered myself a runner. Even though until this year I hadn’t put on my runners for over 10 years. The running started slow. I ran a 5km race early in the season, and then another this month. I put on the runners occasionally and went for a jog.
I decided to start training for a 10 km race. So I got a training app and set out. I am so excited that I am diving right in. The training program has rest days built in. Funny enough these are the hardest days so far for me. I don’t want to take a day off. I am excited to get moving and see progress. I feel good after I have pushed my body further than it has gone in a while. So the first couple rest days I ran anyway.
In therapy I often have to tell clients to slow down. The work of therapy doesn’t actually take place in a session with me. It takes place in how a person reflects on our conversation and how they integrate their new understanding into their lives. That takes time. So multiple sessions in one week or long intense sessions, while cathartic, are not often useful long term. I tell clients that is it okay to hibernate for a while, throw pity parties and slow down. There is no problem if you want to cry, avoid and distract yourself from your issues. As long as you come back to the issue calmer, with a different perspective and stronger. The critical part is coming back to the issue until it is either resolved, accepted or no longer relevant. Life is a race of strength and endurance not speed.
After a rest day (that I actually rested) in my training program this week I ran further and faster than I have in the weeks before. My body needed the break. Eureka!!!
So today is my rest day. I am a bit twitchy but I am going to rest anyway. (Now what other project can I start working on….)